As dishes reach critical mass...

I know that not everyone on the planet is as OCD as I am, but I still cannot figure out how people can live with complete mess. Though the situation has since been rectified, a few nights ago the kitchen sink was allowed to reach "Kitchen Critical Mass" (or KCM). Which is of course the minimum amount of mess needed to cause a nuclear reaction in your kitchen.

I understand how laziness can prevent a person from wanting to clean up after enjoying their meal, but there has to be a point where this get so bad that they eventually overcome that laziness. Apparently, some of my roommates lack the ability to recognize the onset of KCM. As such, I feel it is my duty to teach the internets so they can prevent nuclear reactions in their own kitchens.

With your average kitchen mess, you start with an empty sink and then begin stacking dirty dishes. Though the dishes are there, the sink is still useable, pans can be filled with water for boiling, cups can still be given a quick rinse, and hands can still be washed. This continues until the mess becomes large enough that it can no longer be ignored and someone eventually breaks down and cleans it.

However, if this point is reached and no one breaks down to clean, you quickly reach KCM. The sink becomes so full that it no longer functions as a sink. The dirty dishes reach clear up to the faucet and nothing can be rinsed, washed, or filled with water. Since the sink cannot be accessed food is left in the pans instead of being rinsed out. Within a day there isn't a single clean pan, dish, or utensil left. You wake up the next morning to find an entire colony of ants has taken up residence on your kitchen counter. And that's when you realize that you need to put on the hazmat suit... you've just gone nuclear.

Once you've gone nuclear, the only way to recover is to pull everything out of the sink, stack it on the counter without vomiting, and start painfully washing one piece at a time. What could have been done in two minutes once a night, suddenly turns into an hour long chore. Is laziness really worth this much effort? Do yourself a favor and clean up after yourself.

posted by Christopher Schnese