I may not be a fan of sleep, but since I am a being that requires it, I do like to take full advantage whenever I can. The thing I hate more than anything else in the world is when someone, or some thing, wakes me up within minutes of my alarm going off. You see, if I'm woken up in the middle of the night, I can go back to sleep. Not true if I'm woken up too close to my scheduled time. Instead, I'm forced to sit there angrily staring at the alarm clock until it actually goes off. Not only was this morning's experience one of the worst yet, but the almost suspect timing of it truly added insult to injury. This morning I awoke suddenly, laying on my side, eyes open, staring across my room to the far wall. There was a strange noise that I couldn't quite place. It wasn't especially loud, but it didn't belong in my room. That much I was sure. It was a weird, almost sticky tearing noise. My anger (at being woken up) quickly turned to confusion as I lay there trying to decipher the strange noise.

I began to rotate onto my back, as if some how the position would allow me to think more clearly. And that's when it hit me. Literally. As soon as my back was firmly pressed to the mattress, SMACK. The tap light that I had fastened directly above my head (the one I installed so I could read in bed each night) came crashing down right onto my forehead.

And then. Just as the pain and frustration were about to boil to the surface. Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep. My stupid alarm went off.

posted by Christopher Schnese